Losing your Identity after becoming a Mum

Losing your Identity after becoming a Mum

Losing your Identity after becoming a Mum


I felt like I had lost my identity after becoming a Mum!

It wasn’t until I was looking into blogging and trying to figure out what I wanted to write about, until I thought, how much my life has changed!

It isn’t that I don’t love being a Mum, because I really do. But I am now in a space of between being who I used to be and who I am now. There is so many things that have changed within my life, things that I am struggling to work out who is the “New Me”.

I remember when I could sleep when I wanted, eat when I wanted, run to the shop when I wanted and I did not have to remember to take anything… I was in control of my own life, I felt independent and carefree.

Even though I still feel in control of my own life, it isn’t the same. I no longer can make spontaneous decisions and follow that crazy urge to go on a date with my husband. I now have to consider my sons needs as equal and above my own day-in and day-out; I have to plan EVERY single move I make!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind but it is still is so different as I am currently 12 months into being a new Mum, I’m still getting used to it (No I haven’t left my son at home yet…… KIDDING).

Now that I have come to this realization, I need to think; what am I going to do about it and what can all you amazing Mums do too?

This will not be an overnight change or fix, but we can;

  • Find new ways to connect with our friends; instead of spontaneous catch ups and nights out, we can try to catch up over a coffee at a playground or go to the park or a local family event.
  • Have a hobby; try to find something that you used to love and make time for it.
  • Get help; whether you have to hire someone, beg your husband or your family members, do what you need to do. If you are exhausted and overwhelmed, it can wear you down if you don’t reach out.
  • Take care of yourself; put the baby in their cot or in front of the TV and take a shower, wash your hair and shave those hairy legs. Do your hair and have a coffee. Don’t neglect the things that used to bring you pride and pleasure. You will feel better!

And lastly;

  • STOP COMPARING – This is key. Be content. I know this is hard, especially when times are tough, but you have got this and you are perfect.


“You will never have a life like you did pre-motherhood, and that’s okay.

Your identity isn’t lost, it’s just buried under diapers and onesies.”



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